Human
by Tarshearma
Summary: “You Are Not Alone” the Face of Boe told him once…that had been a lie.


**Human**

Tarshearma

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Doctor Who. No profit has been made from writing this._

**Spoilers:** _Takes place after Journey's End_

**Rating:** _E for Everyone_

**A/N: **_Originally written as the opening for what was going to be a full chapter story, but I never got out of the plotting phase. Re-written as a one-shot, please enjoy._

**Summary:** _"You Are Not Alone" the Face of Boe told him once…that had been a lie._

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The TARDIS never felt so empty.

Time Lords differed from humans in many ways, some more obvious than others, yet, in all his years, the Doctor had learned he shared many things with humans. One was a fondness for those eatable metal balls on the top of cupcakes, or the delightful, multicolored and flavored jelly babies. The most notable similarity between him and humans, however, was quite often the most painful. Humans were, without a doubt, a social race, depending upon, if not each other, the companionship of some other living organism or an item which they anthropomorphized to some degree. (Plants where a favorite he had noted.) Humans seemed unable to properly function if left in complete solitude, and when they were confined from anything at all, they found some way to form a sense of companionship, even if it meant speaking to the walls or creating an imaginary friend. If left in solitude for too long, it drove them mad, possibly because their mind was unable to accept the idea of being cut off from all forms of socialization. It degraded them to an animal level, for many animals were solitary or at least capable of walking their own dusty paths. Once released from their silent prison, it took time for a human being to adapt back into normal human society, to once again find that inner need for companionship.

He didn't know if humans _could_ function on their own and retain all which made them human because they resisted the very idea of complete solitude. They all latched hold to _something_. In theory, the Doctor supposed, it would have been an interesting experiment to observe how humans reacted to being cut off completely for their entire life. Would they remain a human being? Or would they become something else entirely?

He'd rather like to resist the idea right now, right then, because he was very much alone. Rose was gone, trapped in a parallel universe with his…clone…other…thing that was not _Him_. On the one hand, he was happy for her; Rose could be happy and grow old and have a normal life with his other, human, self but, on the other…he wished it was actually him who could hold her and kiss her, and tell her what he so desperately felt. But, she was gone. _His _Rose. Forever. And Martha, she was gone too, not with him, but with UNIT, or Torchwood, he couldn't remember which right then. Maybe she was with neither and was having supper with that doctor friend of hers. A real doctor, one who saved more lives than lost, which was for than the Time Lord could say for himself. So many had died because of him because of his actions…or in-actions. He'd resisted the thought of Martha traveling with him at first; no one could replace Rose, but then Martha had stayed and she'd been fantastic until…until she'd left him of her own accord. It had been for the best. He knew that. Better for her to have walked out of his life than he watching her die, die because he'd let her tag along, because he couldn't save her. And then there was Donna, the Doctor-Donna, oh she was brilliant, but she was gone now too, all her memories of him and their adventures erased for the sake of her life. Another life lost because of him…another life saved all in one in Donna. He'd killed her and saved her. His punishment was he could never see her again. He hardly ever saw any of his companions again. They all faded eventually, like smoke.

It wasn't fair, he'd decided this some time ago, a long time ago. Susan, his granddaughter, had been his first companion through space and time, but she had left him because of love. Well, he'd given her no choice in the matter, but it was what she'd wanted and he'd known that. He'd have done anything for his dear Susan, the self-proclaimed namer of the TARDIS. She hadn't been, the TARDIS technology had been around for some time before her, but it had made her happy to think she'd first coined saying the acronym as a name. But that was beside the point, the point was the cycle never ended. So many friends and companions, so many lost or left behind…it always ended the same. He always ended up alone, just him and his TARDIS.

It was made worse now, now he was the last of the Time Lords, last of his kind. Even the Master, who had given him some semblance of hope, even though they had been enemies for so long, that the Doctor wasn't the last, he was not alone. Yet, the Master had taken that hope as his final victory. That hope had died with the Master, died in his arms. Then, then it had been reborn in Jenny, but even she was gone, killed much too soon. His granddaughter, his enemy, even his…his daughter, yes, Jenny had been his daughter. How he would have relished taking her along, showing her the whole of space and time. He could have shown her so much, he would have shown her everything. He would have, but it was not to be…he'd not even had the time to form that special bond. Another chance to say 'I love you' torn away as if it were some sort of cancer.

He was the last Time Lord, and he was destined to travel for the end of his days alone. All companions were nothing more than passengers.

He had the hope of sorts of meeting River Song again, eventually, but that would end in heartache. She'd already given him a nasty 'spoiler' when he'd met her in the Library. She may have been from his future, but she was now in his past, nothing more than a remnant, an impression of who she had been now stuck in a computer. He could look forward to meeting her in his future, but he would know he would only have to let her go. He would be alone again…he would always be alone.

He was the Doctor, the last of the Time Lords.

It was just the Doctor and his TARDIS.

He sat down on the wire mesh around the main consol and placed his head in his hands. There was no one there to see him give in to his despair. It wasn't fair.

He'd never felt so human.


End file.
